2014 : Day 21

I can’t choose a starting picture for the day. I have many to choose from and yet I suppose that it’s because I would rather go with the flow of the stream of consciousness and let the topic flow, the narrative of the piece formulate naturally. 

Much like all else, we wade in it on auto pilot for much of our conscious lives. We know the tasks and learn them better. We have to interject stimuli in odds that we can bypass banality.  Step off into a realm of your better understanding and awareness. 

You are a cultivator, creator, and  brainstorm your idea farm…let the deluge reawaken old spirits and new wonder. You are the ability to reflect to non reflection. 

I just forgot my new, ice cold bottle of Code Red when changing busses. Not cool. I was teased. Ha ha ha.

Another day, another dollar

Riding the bus to work and contemplating the toughness of life in general. The lowest class of citizens in this country far surpass the rest of the financial classes. I wouldn’t even call it poverty as the distinction between the haves and have nots is all screwed. I don’t make very much money and try to be as smart and frugal as I possibly can with what little I have and yet there are even more that have even less than I do.
Today we stand on the precipice of a large lottery winfall. I know that if I won, I wouldn’t be greedy or stupid with the winnings. I would indeed help out my friends, family, and others that need help. It’s what we give back and do with our responsibilities that define us.
We have all had our lottery fantasies, but I would still work and afford more time to my writing. It is one of the thibgs in life that give me the most pleasure and help me feel accomplished. I may like some luxuries, but have real NEED for little else. Besides, if I can bring up others with me on my iourney through life and give them the ability to make better and smarter decisions for themselves, then so be it!
Here is to hoping I would win the lottery and do my best to help make the world a little bit better. 

Times are tough for zo many people and the rich typically just get richer. I am rich spiritually, if not financially.  All I could want this holiday season would be peace of mind for my own and for all my readers. Blessed Be and may you all have a happy and wonderful holidays.

I am tired (old writing from Oct 2011)

It’s not really about giving up.
I cant lie, though. Giving up is partially what it is.
The other portion is pressure.
Its the largest portion of at least the feelings that create this.
I refuse to play third wheel.
I refuse to sit idly by and be treated as a doormat
To be talked to in the manner that i am.
Not just by you, but almost everyone.

I am tired of it.

I hate that i am treated like dogshit
that someone found on the bottom of their shoe.
And thats exactly how i have been made to feel lately.
How would you feel?
How would you feel?
I am tired of it.

Daily pressure is constant,
But getting stepped on.
Getting kicked in the face
Is not my idea of a grand time.
Its not just your words
But how you say them
The sting you provide with them
The barbs of jealousy
The distrust for simple things…

And your lack of support for anything i do,
because you feel it is out of your grasp
You dont even try
Nor give the effortless support a loving wife,
and supposed soul mate
Should provide.
How would you feel?
How would you feel?
I am tired.

If the third wheel is neglected too long
Left to rot in the sun
No oils
No care
No shade from the elements of the world
Of the thoughts that can devestate someone
Shelter from the storm of stress
As it were.
How would you feel?
How would you feel?
I am tired.